Gambling..

I have no problem with anyone gambling. What I have a problem with is when it affects the people around you. My mom, for instance, wasted a whole check at the casino. I was so mad at her. I even texted her trying to stop her.

It makes me so mad because that’s my mom and when she gets home, she beats herself up for doing it and im just like STFU AND STOP FUCKING UP. But as her daughter, I don’t say anything. My mom is way stronger than this, so I don’t understand why the hell she would do this. Hasn’t she learned from the way her mom would gamble? I don’t know how to make her understand without making her cry or feel guilty.

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A month.. I know.

A month since I’ve written or posted on my blog… I know. I know. How am I going to have a successful blog if I don’t write on it every day or at least once a week. Well, life happens. Let’s put it like that.

It’s 2:30am and just a day, I’ve went to being fine to horribly not okay. I mean I can get through the day and be fine, but it still runs in my mind. So you will probably see me writing a lot of emotional stories about me and whats going on. Not really ready to talk about it right now, how I feel is like picking the right time to pluck an orange from its tree. You don’t want to do it too soon or late, you want to be the perfect time to let it go.

I’m sorry for not writing you guys. Just a lot been going on, but I am really going to try write more. It will probably be late, like this, but I will definitely do it. Leave me comments for motivation and confidence. I could really use it right now. 🙂

We are all different.

I decided to use this title for one reason only. The things you see that share a lot of emotions are really me speaking. It’s from the heart. The situations I’ve been in have hurt me beyond words and if you don’t understand or think I sound crazy or insecure. Then let me be the one to tell you I am insecure, I’m very insecure, but that isn’t going to stop be from posting this. It’s a coping thing for me. In the past couple years, a lot has happened and sometimes I would just write out my feelings. I was always something that sooth me. And believe it is nothing but the truth.

Nov. 11, 2014

In life, you sometimes find yourself trying to find the right one. That one person that melts your heart and that person you can never live without. It becomes hard when you start to love them so fast and you become scared that they don’t love you back. So you trust your gut and hope for the best. You’ll get over this person even if you try. In time, yes, you may feel that you are over this person, but believe me it isn’t. So you can understand this, let me explain my story. It’s not easy to write this, this isn’t professional or even proper writing for a book, but who cares its inevitably for me. To recope. To be me again. I’ve fell in love with a man I have never touched, seen, heard, or had physical contact with. But we are separated right now, and I’m ready to scream and bleed out all my love for him. It’s not easy. One minute, I’m fine and then the next I’m out. I couldn’t sleep, I probably won’t sleep until I get home. I got up this morning to say I actually did something. I’m skipping class because I’m tired of going to school, it makes me stress. My sister was right, I am unhappy. I’ve lost me totally, Arianna, you are in there somewhere behind all that bullshit, show everyone who you really are.